24 Aug

Say It Aint So Rio!

Summer OlympicsSo, what are we supposed to do now? Just go back to normal life? The One Show and Coronation Street? No more waking up to discover it has been another golden night for Team GB?

No more watching taekwondo, diving and gymnastics on peak-time TV? No more venting fury at judges in Rio making clearly biased decisions on sports you became an expert on five minutes earlier?

No more listening to mums and grannies on radio cooing about their lovely gold-medal winning lad? No more Claire Balding effortlessly shifting from sport to sport with no apparent gap in her vast knowledge?

No more of the ridiculously cool Michael Johnson? No more of the ridiculously uncool British supporters in the stands Union Jacked up to their eyeballs?

No more scrolling through your smartphone at the breakfast table to relive every golden moment? No more British athletes being nudged by the PR people to mention the National Lottery on TV?

No more Michael Phelps death stare memes? No more jealously watching what was happening behind Dan Walker on Copacabana beach? No more discussing why the sprint cyclists ride that first lap so slowly?

No more wishing Alastair Brownlee would let his little brother win, just once? No more getting the beers in for the hockey?

No more checking the medal table to see if we can beat China? No more checking the medal table to see how much we are beating Australia by?

No more setting the alarm to watch Mo Farah win in the middle of the night? No more Usain Bolt at the Olympics? No more Usain Bolt?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!